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Status update - Suffering From Elation
A Survivor's Tale
tania
tania
Status update
I will do the rest of the Vipassana update tonight. For now, some general stuff:

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I've hit a plateau in my weightloss. Frustratingly, it's keeping me JUST over the 70kg mark. But, I soldier on. The number 69 has never seemed so appealing... hurr hurr. ;) If you think in pounds rather than kilos, I started at 169lbs, am currently 155lbs, and intend to reach 119lbs by the end of February next year.

I got the cinema job - did I mention that here? I'll be working in Gold Class. Paid training starts around the 10th of October; I'm filling in and sending back the forms today. I'm excited for this job, not because working in a cinema has ever been a dream of mine, but because it's not a supermarket or fast food place, because they've promised me as many hours as I want while I'm not at uni, and because it's the sort of job that'll fit in beautifully around my studies next year.

I don't yet know if I've been accepted into the B Paramedic Practice. UTAS doesn't start releasing offers of place for quota-restricted courses until Oct/Nov/Dec. Not knowing is killing me, but I'm working on increasing my patience, so this is a good thing to practice on.

Jangles has a little freckle on his nose. This worries me. Joey and I are broke until my current brochure client pays up, or until I get my first pay from the cinema job, whichever comes first (and it may well be the latter). I can't find a vet who allows deferred payment or even a payment plan, so this means no vet for Jangles until then. I'm trying not to worry too much, as worrying won't get him a vet checkup, it'll just get me stressed, and that won't help anyone.

Mum's decided to go back to QLD; she's in love with a guy up there and she found the winter too cold down here. Mind you, she moved down here in late May (the start of winter in the southern hemisphere) so she's only been here during winter and has known no other season. Spring is springing as we speak. Perhaps a nice summer will change her mind. I doubt it though; she once sold just about everything she owned to move to New Caledonia for a guy, so this is nothing in comparison.

Once upon a time I would have been disappointed, and probably angry, too. Joe and I went to a great deal of effort to find a house that would be suitable for mum and her dogs, putting aside many things we wanted in the process. We got a place that was more expensive than we'd have liked because mum wanted somewhere 'nice'. We turned down a lot of houses that we liked because mum needed a place that would take her dogs. We chose a suburb far closer to the city than we liked because mum wanted to be close to work. We also, obviously, got a bigger place than we'd have chosen for just the two of us. She's talking about leaving in February; the lease here doesn't expire until the end of April. Joe and I can't afford this place if she leaves.

It's all good, though. Once I'd have been upset because I'd have liked my parent to be more steadfast and mature than I am (and honestly, it's not a terribly high benchmark I've set there), but mum is what she is, and there are a great many things I like about her too. Wishing for someone you love to change is not healthy, nor constructive. We'll figure out some way to deal with the practical issue of the lease when we pick mum up from the airport tonight.

Once I'd also have been upset because I'd hoped mum would be around when Joe and I went ahead and had a child - we do intend to do that in three or so years, once we're both better-established but while we're still young - but if having a child is reliant on having family members around to help, that doesn't make us very committed parents, does it? I certainly hope we will be good enough parents that we can do it ourselves, without any help, tricky though that may be at times. I can't help feeling a little knot of anxiety when I think about doing it alone. We have no experience with babies. Childcare is expensive. Neither of us will ever be rich and I don't know that we can afford to have a child if one of us has to stop working for years to make it possible.

But, it's not my family's responsibility to help out with any part of it. Plenty of other couples have done it alone. And I've done most other things in my life on my own, and I'm still here.

It'll be nice, anyway, to have a place of our own again! I've enjoyed living in close contact with a family member - it's been a long time - but Joe and I live so well together now, I don't think we ever want to share again. We actually had 'come share with us' offer recently from a couple of new friends. They're awesome, but we turned them down because we just don't want to share with anyone again. Let nothing disturb our peace.

We're talking about buying a house when I finish uni and start working. We'll need six months or so to save a deposit, but it's do-able. I've checked the pay tables for graduate paramedics and it's a solid starting figure. As an artist, it took me ten years to reach a pay level that the Bureau of Stats tells us is the "average female wage" in Australia. As a paramedic, it'll take me only five years to get to that same figure - and that includes the two years of study. And Joe's management training starts next week, after which he should start getting full-time hours. Mind you, Subway's pay is criminally low, but if Joe spends a couple of years there as a manager while I'm studying and working casually at the cinema, we'll get by, and he'll be able to use that managerial experience to step up to a better-paid job around the same time I do. So in a couple years' time, if we hold the course, we should be ready to buy. The affordability of housing down here will work very well in our favour.

I have pretty much resigned myself to the idea that life will always be a financial struggle. As long as we're getting by, we'll be okay.

And now it's 2pm and I haven't eaten anything yet. THIS is why I'm getting stuck on a plateau, I suspect. No early breakfasts to kickstart my metabolism. Must work on that.
2 have fought ~ fight the power!
Comments
c_eagle From: c_eagle Date: September 27th, 2010 07:29 am (UTC) (Link)
oooo ..an update!
Good vibes to Jangles, and to your soon-69!!
hammond From: hammond Date: September 27th, 2010 12:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sawyer's leaving blood around the place again so we're taking him to the vet on Wednesday. He's not complaining.. just making bloody poos. (Just keeping you in the loop)

2 have fought ~ fight the power!