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Meh, and All About House Plants - Suffering From Elation
A Survivor's Tale
Meh, and All About House Plants
That time of the month again, same old story, we're all tired of hearing it, I know I know.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm not allowed to be angry, selfish or high-maintenance like many of the other girls I know. Like I can't get away with it because people generally expect me to be adventurous and positive. Everyone else gets their meltdowns, gets to be selfish or snarky, gets to hold grudges or be bitchy, but not me.

Then again... I guess I don't want to be the sort of person who is grumpy and high-maintenance. Even when part of me feels like being just that.

Forgot to mention last entry, really looking forward to staying with earthminor while I'm in Sydney. I'm deliberately flying down on the Friday so we can do fun stuff on the weekend. Specifically, I'm hoping she'll be up for a visit to Taronga Zoo. I haven't been since I was so young I can't properly recall. I'd love to go with a friend. Joe can't really afford to take holidays (and I'm not quite at the point where I can freely afford to bring him along on my dime, otherwise I'd do that in a heartbeat) and, though Jenolan was a lovely adventure to have alone, I want to travel with friends, people my own age, at some point during my life. That sort of thing never pans out for me. It leaves me wondering if there's some reason people don't want to spend extended amounts of time around me, or if I've just had rotten luck, or (most likely) if I just tend to plan things very spur-of-the-moment and it's hard for others to keep up. But that sort of niggling doubt is representative of my current hormonal state, and not something I'd bother myself with the other three weeks of the month.

I worry, sometimes, that I've forgotten how to relate to other people my age. On the other hand, I never was very good at that, so you could argue nothing's changed.

Man, this seems like a bit of a downer! I am genuinely okay, just wondering out loud.

In happier news, I'm really appreciating my job right now. Though there are days when I'm bored, I sometimes stop and actually consider the amount of freedom and autonomy I have, and am absolutely staggered. I'm really hoping ongoing work with 3rd Sense pans out. Another contract would be nice, but isn't ideal. I find that I overwork myself when I'm on a contract, as I'm not paid by the hours I put in but rather by the work I turn out. At times I fall into the perfectionist trap: I'll spend half a day working very hard on one particular part of an illustration, then have to work late to finish off the rest of it. I'm really hoping I can arrange for a permanent-part-time position, three days per week, working from home. If I'm being paid for a set number of hours, there's more impetus for me to walk away from the computer when 5pm rolls around. Having the office will help with that too.

I feel like everything is a bit on hold now 'til I get back from my trip. That's when I'll know if 3rd Sense is likely to pick me up permanently. That's when I'll move into my office. That's when mum will be back, long-term, with a little car so we can go to Krav three times per week without me constantly risking being stranded in New Norfolk. We'll also be able to get out and explore more of Tassie, day trips and overnight trips on the weekends. Joe also finishes his course sometime midyear, and whether I'm picked up by 3rd Sense again or not, I'll find myself with a lot more time to write. I'll also be learning to drive with mum, then, in a car which isn't terrifying, unlike the van. I'm also going to schedule my first dentist checkup in years when I get back, make sure everything in there is coping okay. Finally, I'll be seeking out a decent bookkeeper too, which ought to take a load off.

Fret, worry, fret. Amazing how the life you're content with when you're not PMSing can be such a source of worry when the hormones are running riot. I'm reminded of the most recent Doctor Who episode. Amy and her fiance and the Doctor found themselves falling asleep in World A, and waking up in World B, then falling asleep there and waking up in the first world again, and they had to decide which one was real. Only problem was, each world felt exactly as real as the other when they were inside it. PMS is a bit like that; it's like stepping into an alternate universe where everything is quite similar but subtly off-kilter. You wonder which world is more 'real', which outlook - cynicism or optimism - is the right one. Each feels equally valid from the inside.


In happier news, I have gradually been stocking up on houseplants. I'm up to four:
- From the hardware store, a sweet and symmetrical little Peperomia with round glossy leaves and a couple of charming white stem-like blooms. He's in the middle of the dining table, in an arrangement I've made out of a carved wooden pot stand Vix once gave me, a fruit bowl, a veggie bowl and an antique copper watering can.
- From the markets, a bushy Mystery Plant with long green-and-gold striated leaves. This one lives on my study desk, right next to my monitor.
- From Big W, an unbelievably healthy, bushy ivy (I'm going to find a lovely mossy log when I re-pot it and turn it into a champion little climber) which resides on a low makeshift table in my study.
- Also from Big W, a tall Ficus with big, glossy, rubbery leaves that are a mixture of an almost-black shade of green, and a delightful vivid pink. New leaves appear up top as vivid red spears. He lives in the corner of the living room.

I'm also eyeing off a Peace Lily at the markets. I want to replace Nicholas someday, but I've only seen two really lovely Peace Lilies for sale since I've been down here. One was the same dark, glossy colour as Nicholas but with much larger leaves, and the other had the same size and shape leaves but they were a more medium green. I just loved the balance of leaf size and colour against the white blooms of Nicholas so I want to get the same breed of Peace Lily again if I can.

Any suggestions for awesome houseplants, you guys? I tend to prefer plants with interesting foliage rather than ones which flower nicely now and then; I'd rather something that looks awesome all year around than something that looks super for a few weeks and pretty meh for the rest of the time. I also need ones that are relatively hardy. I water regularly but I'm still a novice, so I'm just learning how much or how little water individual plants like. Ferns are out. I can't do ferns. It just never works out.

I'm hoping to get a Monsteria Deliciousa, because they have AWESOME leaves, but they're hard to come by down here because they're a tropical plant. They'll still work here as a houseplant of course, it's just that less people sell them.

I like plants that grow big and bushy. Favourite houseplants... GO!
9 have fought ~ fight the power!
scoutlostthewar From: scoutlostthewar Date: May 18th, 2010 11:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Get a kale plant. They grow into beautiful roses (they sell them at the florist's stall at my markets)

Eg: http://www.thegardenhelper.com/pixpg/graphics/kale.JPG

But at the same time its a cabbage so you can eat it. BONUS!
tania From: tania Date: May 18th, 2010 11:33 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG they're gorgeous! I'm going to hit up the plant guy at Salamanca on Saturday, see if he's got one of those. Plus that'd be awesome to have around the house for sammiches. I'm forever store-buying lettuce and cabbage and stuff only to have them go off before I've eaten more than a quarter of 'em.
earthminor From: earthminor Date: May 18th, 2010 10:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I keep seeing kale used in American recipes and it just isn't sold down here... maybe I will get one too... do they grow indoors?
rahball From: rahball Date: May 18th, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hah, we have a giant Monstera growing on the back wall of our house. I'd give you the cones off it to see if you can plant the seeds, but dunno if you're supposed to transport them between states.

See Facebook, but if your zoo trip is on Sat, I would like to come. Have to work on Sunday.
cassu_bean From: cassu_bean Date: May 19th, 2010 02:00 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't relate well to other people my age, especially girls. Thankfully most of my friends I see on a regular basis are geeks or artists but if I try and talk to a regular girl that likes going out and what-not I'm all 'Hi. Yeah...' >_>;

Have fun in Sydney! So sorry I missed the drawing day last week, not sure if you were there or not. I'll have to make up for it by hosting another movie night or something.

tania From: tania Date: May 19th, 2010 02:19 am (UTC) (Link)
I didn't make it either, it was one one of my work days. Am definitely up for another movie night though! My friend Rose is visiting all of next week, it'd be great to do something with her one night, what do you guys reckon?
cassu_bean From: cassu_bean Date: May 19th, 2010 02:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Sounds good! When is she down 'til? I know I volunteered to sell things at a band gig on the 29th but any other night is fine. Maybe next Friday we could do something? Erika doesn't finish work until 9pm on Fridays but I'm sure she'll be cool to come over after that.
tania From: tania Date: May 19th, 2010 02:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, Friday the 28th ought to be cool; she flies back on Saturday morning so we won't be able to stay epically late, but good times will be had. :)
alby_lion From: alby_lion Date: May 19th, 2010 03:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Re: being a perfectionist on something that doesn't pay off, I've found it's helpful to prioritize. I'm probably being redundant as I mention (read: whinge on about) it all the time, but I give myself task lists based on the roles I play in Life. That way I'm sure to not burn time, money, or energy on one that I needed for another. Because that shit goes fast when it's misused, like throwing paper on the fire to keep the flame going. So you'd probably be: Girlfriend, Artist/Employee, Cat Lover, Daughter, Friend, Writer, etc. in any order.

PMS aside, it seems like you're in a rather good position. Hope you enjoy your trip! Cheers.
9 have fought ~ fight the power!