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TOOK MA JAAAAWB! - Suffering From Elation
A Survivor's Tale
tania
tania
TOOK MA JAAAAWB!
I gave verbal notice at work yesterday. Now all that remains is to figure out exactly how much notice I want to give (six weeks is the contractual minimum here) and to type up the formal document. Ultimately I was polite and respectful. The reason I gave for wanting to leave was that I hadn't been engaged by this job for the past few months, and as a result I felt I was not doing my best work. That's bad for both my employer and for me. I shook my boss's hand and thanked him at the end of it.

I'm just too damn nice. It's just that he looked so SAD when I told him I was leaving that my desire to tell him where to stick his job evaporated instantly.

This does not make as good a story as any of my original plans to quit in a storm of vengeful passion. Perhaps in the short term it wasn't as satisfying as telling him Exactly What I Think Of The Management Here. Yet I feel unexpectedly satisfied, and my bridges are very intact.

Happily, because six weeks is not sufficient time to finish a full game, I'll be taken off my current source of hair-tearing frustration game and put onto some piecemeal work; making generic buttons or posters or something. Meanwhile, though my quitting has solved my own frustrations with this place, my equally-frustrated coworkers have attacked the problem by drafting up guidelines for management detailing the kind of briefing / feedback proceedures they'd like to see put in place. Judging from a couple of my boss's comments during my meeting with him yesterday, he's also aware that there's a severe communication problem between Downstairs and Upstairs, so hopefully the twain shall meet and my passing will not be in vain. ;) Honestly, the place hasn't been the same since they fired the extremely talented Game Designer and didn't bother replacing him - stupid decision of the century.

I do hope things ease up on my coworkers. It's too late for me though; I'm done. I don't want to work on pokies for the rest of my life, so why am I doing it now? Originally it was so I could buy a house, but I can't afford to buy a house anywhere close enough to this job to allow me to continue working here anyway... so essentially I was going to work purely for money which I was frittering away on inconsequentials (and worse yet, takeout). If I'd chosen a career based purely on the desire to make money, I would have become a dentist.

So. The current plan is this:

Contact Centerlink. See if I can get student support to enrol in one of the correspondance courses in children's writing I have my eye on. Spend the remainder of the year studying that, and move to Tas at the end of the year.

Following my passions re work has never led me wrong before. I told some friends the other day that I was thinking of enrolling in Fine Arts and they laughed at me, but Joe later pointed out that I did a single year of the even more impractical Bachelor of Animation, and turned that into a successful professional career spanning eight years. So I'm not worried. I have faith in myself. Ultimately it's not the course that makes the career, it's the person.

Joe and I had a celebratory feast of Indian food last night - possibly the last of its kind for a long time to come, as from here on in I'll be saving every possible cent.

Things I am not looking forward to:

- Less money.

Things I am looking forward to:

- Long healthy walks and runs every day without worrying about Being At Work On Time.
- Losing weight.
- Lower stress.
- Working on my own art.
- Formal education again; I LOVE learning!
- Lying in the sun sketching.
- Painting on my Cintiq.
- Writing my stories in cafes.
- Keeping the house tidier.
- Finally sorting through the garage and selling / giving away almost everything there.
- Tasmania.
- The future.
18 have fought ~ fight the power!
Comments
ruggels From: ruggels Date: July 21st, 2009 11:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
So , if it feels like someone took a huge weight off yoru shoulders, it means the decision was the right one. You did the mature thing in backing out like you did.

So.. does this mean we will see more art? maybe even Crikey duck?

Scott
tania From: tania Date: July 21st, 2009 11:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Not Crikey Duck, I'm afraid. Honestly, it was only ever something Vix and I agreed to do for fun; we didn't expect it to get the following it did. I mean, it was pretty derivative... it was, what's the word... self-indulgent. And we both knew it. She's working on concepts of her own now and I'm doing projects in a different direction too.

It's is a happy thought though: that if something we did so offhandedly could get a rapid following, what will happen when either one of us REALLY tries?

You will definitely be seeing a lot more art from me than you have in recent times. (It's easy to achieve more than zero, haha!)
ruggels From: ruggels Date: July 22nd, 2009 03:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Well as long as it's entertaining and not that boring Abstract expressionism stuff.:-)

Well good luck on it and take lots of pics of Tasmania.

Scott
(Deleted comment)
tania From: tania Date: July 21st, 2009 11:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
You (and others like you on my friends list) are an inspiration; you've shaped your career over doing EXACTLY what you want to do. That's a risk, and a committment, that I really admire. :)
uniformgrey From: uniformgrey Date: July 21st, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Its funny how you can get more personal satisfaction leaving a situation with your head held high and saying what needs to be said in a professional manner instead of pulling some nasty tricks that you may feel regret over later. Good on you for leaving the way you did and pursuing what you truly want to do in life :)
earthminor From: earthminor Date: July 22nd, 2009 12:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Sounds like you are at peace with the decision, I think your point about 'why do something now if it's not what you want to do?' is very good. If you don't have a family to feed or those considerations then yeah, why stay?
tania From: tania Date: July 22nd, 2009 03:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I figure I'm free right now, I should make the most of it! :) This is a great time to move around, and an even better time to establish a small 'course correction' in the way my career is going.
leggz From: leggz Date: July 22nd, 2009 12:29 am (UTC) (Link)
"Ultimately it's not the course that makes the career, it's the person."
You're so right.

Sounds like you're feeling comfortable and excited after making the Big Decision, and I'm so happy for you! Being a student the second time around rocks my socks in a big way, and I have a feeling you'll relish it as much as I do.

Congratulations guys, and here's to the rest of yours and Joe's lives! :D
sigmoidal_suseq From: sigmoidal_suseq Date: July 22nd, 2009 02:17 am (UTC) (Link)
We weren't really laughing at you - more just laughing at why the hell any of us did a BFA. I just think there are more practical writing courses out there that don't take 3 years plus a buttload of not-very-useful theoretical subjects.
tania From: tania Date: July 22nd, 2009 03:30 am (UTC) (Link)
I've kinda come to the same conclusion since - there's a bunch of much more specific courses being offered by actual Australian writers out there. I think some degree of mentoring would be really valuable, especially when it comes to picture books.

I'm applying to NEIS to see if I can get support to head back into freelance illustration with an eye to winding up in freelance writing/illustration - that way I can do the sort of courses I want and still get support. AUSTUDY is very specific about what courses it will pay you to attend, and small mentor-based programs are not among them.
rahball From: rahball Date: July 22nd, 2009 04:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Good-o.

I'll be kicking my job as soon as I have the income to replace it. At the moment it's acting as Sadly Necessary Source of Capital and Household Income.

I'm sort of intrigued by your plans to both have No Job for 6 months or more. If I stop earning, we run out of money very quickly. Is it just that you've got enough saved up to keep you going for a while and special house-sharing ninja skills that reduce the rent?
tania From: tania Date: July 22nd, 2009 04:32 am (UTC) (Link)
Going to go on Centerlink - possibly even NEIS. Am about to call and make my appointment, actually. If I'm only eligible for Newstart there'll be a two-month waiting period because I left my job; luckily I have savings enough to cover that, and my living costs are VERY low.
rahball From: rahball Date: July 22nd, 2009 07:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, *that* NEIS! I remember them, someone recommended them to me a couple of years ago, the problem being that you had to have been on Centrelink payments to be eligible, and I never had.
tania From: tania Date: July 22nd, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was worried that there'd be some sort of additional waiting period, but I called up yesterday and apparently I can apply for NEIS at the same time I apply for Newstart payments.

Also, I might be able to skip the two-month waiting period for benefits altogether. They make allowances for those who quit their job due to health / mental health reasons, provided a doctor can back that up, and I believe mine can. I've been getting sick so much these last few months it's not funny. :\
ranshire From: ranshire Date: July 22nd, 2009 04:24 am (UTC) (Link)
*sigh* I envy you. I'm so damned worried about quitting my job even though it hasn't been satisfying in almost three years (note: I've only been working there for two years and nine months). The only thing preventing myself from quitting is that both my father and my sister are looking for jobs and can't seem to find any. Stupid U.S. economy. Free up the markets already! (/Penn mode off)

You're so freakin' lucky and don't you forget it. I'm sure that you wont waste this opportunity. Well, after all, you gave this opportunity to yourself!

Also, can't wait to see them arts! And stories. And general all around awesomeness.
c_eagle From: c_eagle Date: July 22nd, 2009 08:08 am (UTC) (Link)
"This does not make as good a story as any of my original plans to quit in a storm of vengeful passion."

heheeeee.... well, actually not burning bridges is a good thing ;D

The new direction sounds good... kudos to you for taking the bull by the horns and running with it!
sircrazlot From: sircrazlot Date: July 26th, 2009 01:37 am (UTC) (Link)
wow oh wow. The level of respect I have for you just rose up several more feet. I now have a hole in my roof! :D

Good luck on your endeavors. I have faith in you and your talents!
tania From: tania Date: July 26th, 2009 10:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow, thank you! :) My own faith in my talents comes and goes, unfortunately, but I'm working on that too... I've noticed that success is only 50% down to talent anyway. Sheer drive and force of personality seems to make up the other half!
18 have fought ~ fight the power!