Tangles (tania) wrote,

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I've just been away for three days - on the spur of the moment on Tuesday, I decided to go with Rob to dogsit at his mum's place in Brisbane. We just got back.

We're doing okay. I'm sort of depressed. :P My period started last night and I had all sorts of nightmares, which is normal for the first night of my period (strange but true), but was made worse by the lowlevel stress I feel surrounded by right now.

Cops are hemming and hawing re the car. We now won't know for SURE who they decide is at fault re the accident for another month (the other woman is lying and saying she didn't run a red light, depite the witnesses who all disagree). :P

*sigh* Nothing seems to be going right this week. Even the small stuff - I got to the comic shop and picked up a few comics, but there were only two I REALLY wanted... and ONE of them was sold out, and the OTHER I forgot to get!! :P Don't ask me how. So now I gotta ring up, try to chase down the one I wanted, try to get them to hold the one I forgot (a fool's errand - they always say they'll hold it for you and then completely forget about it), and then make my way all the way back to Brisbane some time next week.

We blew so much money on public transport... I'd forgotten how expensive not having a car is. :P

The prevoius tenants of Pacific Haven decided to move out early. Now, even if both Rob and I get jobs tomorrow, affording to be able to move IN there within two weeks will be a stretch at absolute best. We've been wrongfooted so badly by this crash it's not funny.

Dad has offered an alternative - we live with him for another six months, and he rents Pac Haven out to someone else for that six months, meaning he still gets his rent and we get to save.

Rob and I plan to go for a walk this afternoon to discuss it.

It burns my pride, the thought of living at home for 6 further months... I can no longer call it a "holiday". I've always believed that adults should make their own way in the world, but the truth is, if it weren't for our parents, Rob and I would probably be stuffed by now. Poverty is a slipperly slope. You don't have a car, you can't get a job. You can't get a job, you can't afford a house. You can't afford a house, you look rumpled and poverty-stricken and then you REALLY can't get a job. Etc, etc. It's only due to our parents that we haven't fallen off our teetering tightrope yet. :P

I sense Rob and I will probably end up deciding to stay here for the next 6 months. Minimal rent and an opportunity to save... to reverse the bad luck that has befallen us. :P If we moved into Pacific Haven now, wrongfooted as we are, we'd be struggling for a looooong time to regain the ground we've lost. We'd be exchanging one prison for another.

And I'm sick of that. For the last four years I've basically been a prisoner of one thing or another - the bloody tyrrany of Liquid Animation, the struggle of being jobless and paying high rent at Felix Street, the working hours at Disney, you name it... It would be nice to be able to relax for a while, even if it means sharing a house with Chris.

Dad has finally gotten back some of the strength he had seemed to loose so badly after Mum left. He's standing up to Chris. I think Chris nearly hitting me shocked Dad into a new mode of dealing with him. Dad seems to remember, now, that he's the one in charge - not Chris. Dad says he's starting to slowly see changes. I have my doubts, but... Eh. We don't see Chris around much now that he's working. I suppose we can live with him another six months if it means we'll be able to get our feet beneath us for a change.

Thanks for all your kind words re the accident, everyone. It's nice to know that there are people out there who listen and care. <:) Especially, thank you to Bellboy, who seems to have become my unofficial patron saint. ;) My main auction on Furbid closed at US$60, a record low, but on the upside I got LOADS of bids for the avatars auction. 17 in total, 8 seperate bidders. I had no idea it would be so popular! (Next time I'm charging more, muahaahaa). ;) But seriously... wow. :) I also have a couple of non-Furbid commissions in the pipeline which I'm holding off on until the end of January. This will give me time to complete this unexpected influx of avatars. As for what I am going to do, overall... as soon as I can shake this unexpected depression, I'm going to keep working on my novel. Rob said one word to me the other day... one single word... that suddenly made me realise how I could re-write the opening so it was absolutely frickin a THOUSAND TIMES BETTER! One little concept, and it was all thanks to his mother's dog having fleas. *grins* Don't ask. I was also thinking of going back to uni, claiming AuStudy off the govt (a sort of youth allowance for those at university), but I wanted to do something in creative writing, and neither of the courses I was looking at had midyear intakes. I can't hold my breath for a year, so I'll just have to go with a different plan, and see where things stand toward the end of 2004... if the situation is similar, and I still want to give the courses a shot, I may yet do so. I'm also looking into teaching a cartooning course (night-time adult education, just 3 hours, one night per week for set course lengths of 6-8 weeks) at the local TAFE. More on that as I know more. The local paper comes out tomorrow; the Serious Job Hunt of Tania & Robbie begins. ;P Wish us luck. I'll be lucky to get anything better than "tea lady in local brothel" unless the TAFE idea works out. Oyy... I'm also going to start keeping a second (private) journal which will be about the novel I'm working on. I think it will help me to write ABOUT it every day as well as to simply write it. I can bitch, moan, discuss my fears with myself, toss around crazy ideas, and just generally keep my mind and my fingers busy with it. Well, I feel better for having written this. I feel better for having decided upon a plan, however flimsy it is. ;P
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